The Dos and Dont’s of Hair

It’s been said that a woman’s hair is her crowning glory. If it’s true, then why are so many of us guilty of subjecting our crowns to dime-store products and do-it-yourself dye jobs? As a hairdresser, I’ve seen it all. Here are some of the things that I, and every other hairdresser, wish you knew about caring for your mane:

Color

•  When over-the-counter color says “not permanent,” it doesn’t mean that all the affects wash out with just a shampoo. The intensity of the color may wash away but the process inevitably alters your natural hair for the worst.

•  Overlapping color is hard to avoid, and virtually impossible if you’re doing it yourself. As hair grows out, you should only apply color to the roots. Otherwise, you’re stacking ammonia-based products on top of each other ultimately damaging your hair.

•  Overlapping color applications on the hair can also cause the hair to turn out too dark. So be careful.

•  When you make an at-home color mistake, and the hair turns out too dark, it’s tempting to “correct” it yourself by lightening the color. The result is that you will end up with lighter roots that stand out against the rest of your still-dark hair.

•  Always be truthful with your hairdresser about your color history. Omitting what you’ve done can result in your hair not reacting to a treatment the way it should.

•  If you are going to be your own colorist, be savvy, and keep track of what you are using.  Keep the box, lid, or write it down.

Cut

•  Let’s face it...we’ve all taken the scissors to our bangs at one time or another. The mistake people make is going too short. This is especially true if you have curly hair which never lays the same way twice. I tell people to avoid cutting curly bangs shorter than the tip of the nose. Regardless of your hair texture, make sure the hair is relaxed and don’t pull on it when cutting.

•  Don’t marry yourself to a cut or style just because it looked good on you in high school. In time we all change. I’ve seen women with curly hair go poker-straight and vice versa. Age, medications, grey...they all have an impact so go with a cut that looks good on the hair you have today.

•  Face shape is key when picking a cut. Let’s face, it not everyone can wear a pixie cut.

•  Not all hairdressers are identical. You can no more expect everyone with a smock and a pair of scissors to cut the same as you can expect the same artwork from everyone with paints and a brush.

Style

•Pony tails cause breakage at your neckline. Try pulling your hair through the hole in the back of a cap or, if you must, wear your hair elastic in a different place each time and remove it as soon as you’re done working out.

•When you move to a different climate, your hair will change. If it doesn’t do what you expect, try adding a new service, product or style.

•The biggest mistake people make in styling their hair is not letting it dry fully before styling. When it begins to feel dry, your hair still has humidity and frizz. You have to keep going past this point until it feels silky.

•Just like you need steam to get wrinkles out of a shirt, you need water or you’ll scorch your hair when flat-ironing. Always begin by washing your hair, then blow dry it to get most of the “wrinkles” out before using a hot iron.

Cleanse

•  Not all shampoos are created equal. Now I have to admit, I was a Breck girl growing up and I doubted this; but there is, in fact, a huge difference. You can’t expect your hair to act and look the same as it does at the salon if you’re washing it with the hair and body wash from your gym!

•  Watch out for chlorine. I know this all too well. Your hair is like a sponge, it soaks up whatever it gets wet with first. If you jump in a pool with dry hair, it soaks up chlorine. That’s why you should always wet your hair and put conditioner in it to block the absorption of the pool water before diving in.

A Lesson in Boldness: The distance from my barstool to possibility

Years ago I was in a bar with a friend when I noticed a particularly handsome man across the room. (“OMG!,” I said. “This guy is hot.”) After doing a double-take, I saw that he was watching me too. Throughout the evening we took turns glancing at each other, locking eyes for a moment before looking away. At one point I went to the bathroom and returned to find him still looking at me.

Now this is where most women would keep making subtle glances and wait for him to come over. But when it became apparent that for whatever reason -- nerves, fear of rejection, bad passed experiences -- he was not going to cover the distance between us, I had a choice. I could stay on that barstool and pretend nothing was happening, or I could stand up, gather my courage and take a chance based on nothing more than a gut feeling. (At that moment, I finally understood how hard it can be to be a man.)

“Hi,” I said as I approached him. “I noticed you’ve been staring at me for quite a while so I figured I’d come over and introduce myself.” That was the beginning of a four-year relationship. A relationship that began with one bold moment.

The words I used were honest and to the point, something I think he really appreciated. You see, more times than not, we’re not truthful with our words. We use sarcasm, we ramble out of nervous energy or we say something that is not even a true reflection of who we are. I think that’s because being truthful requires being vulnerable and that’s hard. You risk rejection or embarrassment when you put yourself out there. But, you also give yourself the chance to experience something great.

Women are notorious for not saying what we feel but letting others draw conclusions. We do it with friends when we let them make assumptions about our intentions because we are unable to voice them. We do it in job situations when we hesitate to ask for the sale or speak up for that promotion. And more than anything, we do it with men when we chose to be subtle over choosing to be real.

So here’s what I’ve learned from my experience. First, life’s too short not to take a chance. Allow yourself to create moments of happiness whenever you can. When you do, be prepared to risk being yourself -- it’s what opens the door for the other person to truly appreciate you for who you really are. And finally, be honest with your words. It’s the only way to have anything that’s true.

Intentional Kindness

Years ago I was rushing into work, coffee cup in hand and a million things on my mind. I breezed past a co-worker who wished me a good morning. Lost in my thoughts and too pre-occupied with my world, I failed to acknowledge her or, to be honest, to even take notice of her.

Hours later, we were sitting in the break room eating lunch when I was struck by how truly talented I thought this person was. Totally out of character for me, at the time, I blurted out a compliment: “I think you’re one of the best hairdressers I’ve ever worked with. You are truly exceptional.” I was taken aback when her eyes filled with tears and she said to me, “I didn’t even think you liked me.”

Did I hurt her feelings? It seems my curt responses, lack of attention and general self-absorption had given her the impression that she didn’t matter. Or worse, that I actively disliked her. Ouch! I learned that day the importance of being in the present, the power of looking someone in the eye, hearing what they are trying to say and paying a compliment.

From that event, I have taken away three lessons that I try to apply to my own situation -- three ways that I can live a more intentional life.

1.  Look for the truth of the situation. My friend had bought into a lie -- the lie that said because I didn’t give her my attention I must not like her. That was her truth. Now this is no excuse for bad behavior. But let’s be honest, there are plenty of reasons why someone might not respond to you -- maybe it’s a problem they’re preoccupied with, maybe they just got some devastating news or maybe it’s as simple as a lack of hearing. The take-away here...don’t interpret others’ intentions until you’ve given them a chance to voice them for themselves.

2.      A compliment goes a long way. Today I try to live with purpose. When I think something kind of someone, I don’t let it go unsaid. I pay the compliment, I look for ways to encourage and I try to be in the moment.

3.  The simple act of giving someone your attention tells them that they matter to you. I make a conscious effort now to notice my surroundings and to take note of others.

Today, decide you’ll tell three people what good you see in them. Make sure your compliments are sincere and thoughtful. I have no doubt, the results will not only be a blessing to those three people; they will also enrich your life as well. Take it from me.

One Small Thing

Have you ever noticed that sometimes one small step can be the catalyst that leads to great change? Often times, the road we need to travel down can seem overwhelming, a task too daunting to even consider. But a baby step, something seemingly insignificant, can be the very thing that begins a great journey.

My friend has struggled with depression for a long time. Through the years, I’ve listened to her, comforted her and acted as her life coach. I wanted her to own her reality -- not the life she wished she had, not the one she used to have, but the one she was actually living. Who would have thought that it was not my words of encouragement or the life lessons I’ve picked up along the way that would have made the difference -- it was a haircut!

“That haircut changed my life,” she said. You see, after a devastating break up, she had stopped living, she had let herself go and she had given up. It seemed like she was frozen in time -- unable to go back and unwilling to go forward.

“When I got that haircut I started caring for myself again,” she said. “I started to feel a little bit better about myself when I looked in the mirror. Because of that small change, I began to make other changes. I took a shower, put on some nice clothes, left the house and, eventually, started connecting with others and started making future plans.”  And she welcomed hope.

Now, when we talk, all I hear is joy.  She laughs.  She has regained hope, faith, and optimism.  She plans for the future. She has abandoned her “victim” style tendencies. 

It wasn’t the haircut that made the difference; it was what it represented for her. I’ve had a similar experience myself. For me, it was a breast augmentation. After my babies, I felt deformed. I was so self-conscious that I began wearing my hair down in my face to cover myself. After I took that step, I found I was pulling my hair back totally away from my face (bangs and all!) again, putting myself out there more and no longer hiding.

I don’t know what you’re going through right now; I can’t understand all the emotions you feel. But I do know one thing for certain; life is a journey that is always changing. The little people might not think so but I trust that you do have the courage to take that small step that will put you back on the path of your own destiny.

Go for it!!!

When The Muffin Top Becomes a Souffle, It's Time For My Salmon Plan

We’ve all done it -- put on our jeans and struggled to get the zipper to move. Now that's a moment. Then come the lies we tell ourselves in order to justify that bucket of wings we had for lunch: “They probably just shrunk in the wash,” “I’m sure it’s water weight” or “It’s that time of the month.” And guys, don’t think you’re off the hook. We all know that lowering your belt until your belly laps over your pants or adding an extra hole a little closer to the end of the belt does not account for a good fit.

But the truth is, jeans don’t lie. Where a dress or skirt or even a pair of slacks can hide that waistline growing beneath our belt, jeans put it all out there for everyone to see. So here’s the challenge -- face your fears, grab those skinny jeans and get ready for some three-way mirror honesty. Ask yourself if they fit like they did when you first bought them. Is the view from the back as good as you’d like? Do you find yourself covering your waistline with an untucked shirt?

If so, I can help. The “Salmon Plan” is a system of protein-heavy, simple carb meal choices that I’ve come to develop to assist me in losing weight or just maintaining my ideal size. The goal is to eat in such a way and exercise enough to achieve the size that works and then, (and here’s the key), stay there! Keep in mind, it’s not about a number on a scale because we women know that thing is a moving target some months. Plus, everyone’s ideal size is different. Instead, try to stay within a dress size (or pant size for you fellas). Find where you feel best and make it a mission to stay there.

Disclaimer: This meal plan is a system that I have discovered that works best for me.  If you decide to follow this plan, be conscious of what is best for your body.  If you find that you are hungry, by all means EAT. Eat more frequently or eat more of the foods listed for whatever plan you follow.

Meal	Water	Track 1-Soufflé  (Extreme)	Track 2-Muffin-Top (Work in Progress)	Track 3- Comfort Fit (Lifestyle)/ Allowing Room for GIM
	1st cup (16 oz)
Breakfast	2nd cup	·         Black Coffee (1 cup) ·         2 egg whites (hard boiled or scrambled)	·         Coffee (can add milk) ·         ½- ¾ cup oatmeal (steel cut or Quaker old fashion) with skim milk or water. Sweeten with Sweeten with your choice of artificial sugar.   OR Track 1 breakfast	·         Coffee( can add milk & sugar) ·         Oatmeal OR ·         Egg whites with low glycemic index vegetables (chart to follow) OR High protein low fat, low sugar yogurt (i.e. Chobani) Track 1 & 2 breakfast options
Snack	3rd cup	·         ½ low fat mozzarella string cheese stick AND/OR ·         1 small apple or ½ of large apple	·        1 Snack option	·       1  Snack option
	4th cup
Lunch	5th cup	·         4oz of Salmon (P)  ( 1/4 filet) ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination (SC)	·         4-6oz protein(P) ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination(SC)	·         4-6oz protein(P) ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination (SC)
Snack	6th cup	·         4-5 strawberries	·        1 Snack option	·       1  Snack option
Snack	7th cup	·         5-10 non salted almonds	·      1  Snack option	·      1  Snack option
Dinner	8th cup	·         4oz of Salmon (P) ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination (SC)	·         4-6oz protein ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination (SC)	·         4-6oz protein ·         1-2 cups vegetables or salad combination (SC)
Snack (before bed)	9th cup	·         ½ low fat mozzarella string cheese stick	·      1   Snack option	·      1   Snack option

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Water

·         1 Gallon daily. Room temperature with lemon. (12x12oz or 9x16oz)

Multivitamin

·         Take a well-rounded multivitamin daily

Protein Options (P) (Baked, Grilled, Broiled, Boiled, Steamed, Pan Seared, or Roasted):

·         Wild Salmon- Salt, pepper, lime. Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18min. (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Salmon (Track  2, & 3)

·         Chicken (1/2 breast) (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Veal (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Lean Beef (Track 2, & 3)

·         White Fish (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Lobster (Track 2, & 3 )

·         Crab (Track 2, & 3)

·         Shrimp (Track 2, & 3)

·         Quinoa (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Canned meat (Tuna or chicken in water) (Track 3)

·         Deli meats (Turkey or roast beef-low salt) (Track 3)

·         Pork (Track 3)

Vegetables/Salad Options (SC)- Choose all natural or frozen ONLY:

·         Spinach (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Lettuce (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Tomato (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Onion (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Mushrooms (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Garlic (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Peppers (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Cucumber  (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Celery (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Eggplant (Track 2, & 3)

·         Broccoli (Track 2 & 3)

·         Cauliflower (Track 2 &3)

·         Asparagus (Track 2 & 3)

·         Beans (Can also substitute for a serving of protein) (Track, 2, & 3)

·         For tracks 2 & 3 add vegetables that are low on the Glycemic Index.

Snack Options:

·         1 apple (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         ½ grapefruit (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         1 low fat mozzarella string cheese stick (Track 1, 2, & 3)

·         Strawberries (4-5) (Track 1)

·         Fresh berries (blueberries, raspberries) not to exceed ½ cup(Track 2 & 3)

·         5-8 almonds (salt free roasted or raw) (Track 1)

·         Walnuts (Track 2 & 3)

·         Pistachios (Track 2 & 3)

Dressing/Seasoning/Condiment Options:

·         Good Seasons Italian Dressing Mix

water & vinegar only Track 1, add olive oil Track 3

·         Vinegar:

o   White Balsamic

o   Apple Cider Vinegar

o   Rice

·       

·         Olive Oil (extra virgin) (Track 2 & 3)

·         Lime

·         Lemon

·         Garlic (fresh)

·         Parsley

·         Basil

·         Salt

·         Pepper

·         Cinnamon

·         Celery seeds

·         Cilantro

·         Horseradish (Track 2)

·         REAL butter (Track 3)

·         Mayonnaise (Track 3)

Reserved for GIM-Limit 2 (Track 3 Only)

·         Alcohol-any

·         Ingredients-any

·         Sweets-any

·         Complex Carbs-any

·         Quantities-any

·         Cooking Methods-any

Exercise

Unfortunately a change in eating habits alone will not result in weight loss.  Exercise and a meal plan go hand in hand.  It comes down to simple math.

Pounds lost= calories burned > calories eaten

If you aren’t willing to put in the sweat equity required to burn those extra calories, don’t eat it!